Going Home Is Hard To Do...

20-23 October 2005

So this morning I woke up bright and early...still on a poetry high from a the slam I attended the night before...stumbled out of bed...looked at my suit case and my pile of dirty laundry....made an executive decision that I would pack only one pair of jeans and my toilitries for my five day excursion home...and the rest I would simply buy when I got there. Of course...this is all simply a manifestation of absolute laziness...I should have done laundry last night instead of sitting in a coffee shop drinking bad chai and gettin' my ass whomped in a poetry slam...but you're only young once...right? Or is it more than that...is this really indicative of the over-consuming behavior that has Americans consuming more energy and creating more waste per capita than about 2/3rds of the rest of the world combined. Yup...probably that too. I am hanging my head in shame as I think about my own internal hypocrisy...fighting for justice on liberation on one hand...and secret plans to raid the GAP and spend inordinate amounts of money unnecessarily. The Revolution will not be televized and our fatigues will not be made in maquiladoras. But until then...it's off to RagStock I go to purge my conscience with trendy yet tasteful consigment goods.

But I digress...after "packing" this morning, I hoped on I-25 and headed towards the Sunport. I sat down on the plane...eyeballed the ridiculously butch 6' 5" male airline attendant...daring him to play straight in front of me...to which he casually tossed one foot up against the wall and flexed his massively sculpted buttocks...I then snuggled down in my seat and let the engines vibrations lull me into catatonia for the next 2.5 hours. I hate going home.

Now...I actually love Minneapolis. This is perhaps my favorite time of year in Minneapolis. This city is beautiful. It has been planned exquisitely. There are 22 lakes within the city limits. The Mississippi river twists and turns throughout the city and divides it from its cock-eyed neighbor St. Paul (once named Pigs Eye). And the city is awash in fall colors. It wasn't until I was older and started travelling that I realized that not every city was built inside a forest. My favorite game in New York is called Count The Trees. I did. There are exactly 9 trees in all of Manhattan....excluding Central Park. But, no matter how beautiful Minneapolis is...nothing can calm the anxiety of making sure that you at least make superficial contact with all of the people that you have ever shown any care for in your entire life. So, of course, upon getting to the home of the friends with whom I am staying...I pulled out my cell...put it on vibrate...and took a nap.

I love my friends and family. But in the past, whenever I've lived away and come home and failed to call each and every one of them...I have gotten the wrath of the Neo-Valkyries...these descendants of Vikings in the upper Midwest have loaded up their long boats and set off to destroy my self-esteem by railing against me in that oh so subtle Minnesota way..."Oh...I understand...you are very busy...I mean we've only been friends for 15 years...and I gave you that kidney...but you know...we'll see you on the next trip."

But this weekend belongs to Nicole Harris (see the other blog entry today...I started this three days ago...but have only gotten around to finishing it today). I have actually been very proud of myself this weekend...I have done something that I have almost never done in my past. I have taken a vacation. I have spent at least 60% of my time here sleeping...much to the amusement of my dear friends Andrea and Kandace with whom I am staying...and much to the chagrin of Homely Dog (see the forthcoming b log on Homely Dog)...who gets very sad when I go into my guest room beyond the nibbling of her puppy teeth. Last night, at the wedding, I hung out with the utterly amazing Amy Melquist...she and I went to high school together, and while we were friendly in high school we never really hung out together. Well...I love her. She is fun and exciting...wooohoooo Amy Melquist! Anywho...this vacation...I have given myself a break. I have gone with the flow and spent some quality time with a few friends....and really...I'll be home again in two weeks...and for at least a week at Christmas...these chumps can back off, slow down, and let this Queen take a break. So have I spoken...so let it be ;-).