God Is In The Music...

4 November 2005

I am a wee bit annoyed this morning. I had a blog written and all ready to go...a tyrade against an evil woman (Gigi's neighbor) that has caused me one too many headaches since I arrived here in ABQ...but alas...the gods spoke...and I logged into my blog account only to find that my saved blog...and a couple of others...have been lost. LOST! Do the good people at Friendster have any idea of the creativity and passion I put into my blogs...let alone the extra sauce I'd invested in bad-mouthing the Witch of Sante Fe Avenue? Do they even care? Probably not. Bastards!

This morning on the way to work...after being sorely disappointed that the Einstein Brothers on Central was closed for remodeling (I have breakfast there almost every day...black forest ham and swiss on green chile with a plain chocolate bagel and large iced chair....delicious). So I had to look for alternative sustenance venues this morning. In the short clip  between the Flying Star and my orifice...I mean...office...I had one of my Music Moments.

Growing up I went to a small black Southern Baptist church with a choir that was out of this world. Pretty early on I associated God with music...and have always and ever since found closeness to the universe through all kinds of music. Every now and again...like this morning...the sun will be shining just right...and a song will be playing that for just a moment seems to swell up and take over my senses...and in that moment...everything...no matter what is really going on in the world...is allright. It's one of those greater than I am reminders that in the end...everything is going to be ok. No matter how broke I get...no matter how happy/sad/heartbroken/angry I feel...no matter how much I think that I can't go on...or no matter how on top of the world I might think I am...that there is something greater than I am out there that will catch me if I fall...that loves me for who I am and not for what I have or haven't done...and for me that power speaks through music.

And when I say music...I mean music...not limited to one genre or type. For example...this morning I was listening to some vocal house music as I drove along...sometimes the spirit speaks through classical (seems particular to Bheetoven's 9th)...gospel...country...hip-hop...it doesn't matter...if the music is right...if it has the message that my spirit needs to hear...then on that day...if the universe wills it...the music will speak to me with the voice of God.

I am not a  particularly religious person...I was baptized and confirmed in two different Christian denominations (Southern Baptist and Swedish Lutheran)...I enjoy going to Catholic mass now and again because I'm fond of elaborate ceremonies. And I basically stopped going to church on any regular schedule the day I was confirmed...in the 10th grade. But it is rare that I find or experience God in churches (as a matter of fact, I fnd it the rare church that actually has any real connection to God...churches today have become havens for tearing down the spirit instead of building it up...dividing communities instead of bringing them together...if I were God...and planning on returning to earth in the near future...the first folks to feel my wrath would be those that have turned Churches into tabernacles of hate).  As a matter of fact, I have never experienced God in those places unless there has been music...and not the get out your hymnals and everyone turn to page 145 and try and sing the words all together kind of music...but only  when there has been a choir that opens up, starts singing and snatches your spirit straight up out of your body and throws it into the air types of choirs.

I remember in high school, the Metropolitan Community and Technical College Gospel Choir performed at our high school...it was about 49 black folks and one skinny white girl (which was completely amusing to our high school which was predominately black). That is until the white girl opened her mouth to sing...the entire auditorium was shocked into silence...and then...at least three or four kids my age straight up caught the spirit (and ya'll know that probably the least cool thing one can do in high school would be to have a public display of any sort of religious experience...period...that's pretty much a guarantee that you won't be asked to the Prom...Homecoming...or graduation). And I had to quick bang my leg on the chair in front of me, so I had a reason for the tears that were streaming down my face. I'm a sap. Shut up.

So music. Yeah. I doubt that there is anything more significant that I have come across that has influenced my spiritual experience.  Sermons don't do it for me. Neither do self-help books, reciting the rosary, sleeping naked in a bed of virgins, or self-flagellation.  But Aretha Franklin singing A Bridge Over Troubled Waters is enough to make this boy have an astral projection moment. I have no idea where today will end up...but I know that where it has begun is with one of those Music Moments...a moment where the spirit of being gave me a little poke...just to say...hey kid...everything really is allright...I'm still here...and I always will be.