It Ain't Truth If It Doesn't Hurt

One More Plug...

Hey folks...I'm sitting here...waiting for Mom's new hubbie to come and pick me up for Christmas din din...and listening to the Broadway version of the Rent soundtrack...which has motivated me to encourage all of you to go and see the movie if you haven't yet already. There are idiot movie reviewers in the world that have the nerve to label the movie good but dated...because...you know...HIV...that's no big deal these days. Morons.

If you can't bring yourself to do it for political reasons...do it because it's a kick ass flick...guaranteed to make you bawl. Once again...Merry Christmas to all...last night my gorgeous new acquaintance/electronic sleuth/e-stalker Shehan asked me if Santa was someone that I'd met in Minneapolis...when I told him late last night that I was awake trying to surprise Santa as he snuck into the house (he got past me again this year)...if only Shehan could have seen me when he said that...I made my bunny eyes...RJ knows exactly what I'm talking about...I open my eyes real wide...and just blink a good couple of times...that's my...you are crazy and touched look ;-). I had to break it to him that I was talking about old Kris Kringle...and not a Christmas Eve nookie session.  Also...a shout out to my sis Meta Diane and the kids...I got an email from Meta today...made my day...absolutely made my day...she has no idea...love to you. Merry Christmakwanzaakah!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to one and all...I hope you get everything you need and some of what you want...and a whole lot of love...Happy Birthday JC!

One of those Special Moments...

So...I was just sitting here in the recliner...the sun went down around four p.m....that's Minneapolis in winter for you. Sandie...you know her...the Homely Dog...was cradled in my arm...her eyes liquid brown...always seemingly on the edge of tears...which is funny...considering that she was chewing on my fingers and not the other way around. My Christmas gift from Andrea was playing in the background...the full Broadway soundtrack to Rent...and for a moment...just a few seconds really...everything in the world was just right. You know those moments...when everything seems content...the light...the clothes you are in...your spirit...you aren't too full...not hungry...and you just smile...for no reason...other than the moment demands it. Thanks Sandie...more proof that some friends are a tad bit furrier than others.

Today was a little bit super special for me. I got an email today from my step-Mom Melanie. Melanie nee Mandich now Melanie Quillin and  previously Melanie Strother (a la the Step Father) is perhaps one of the best people-gifts that God has ever brought into my life. She is one of the sweetest, gentlest, strongest women I have ever met...she has this inherent ability to make everything and everyone around her feel comforted...which is probably why they picked her to be the person in Crow Wing County to fetch the crazies and get them into the state hospital. Well...she used to do that...now she helps folks that have chemical dependency issues...and God knows the Step Father gave her enough experience with that first hand to qualify her to run a rehabilitation center herself. I'm sure she walked into her Chem Dep Counselor trainings courses...and they just stamped her approved.

Getting an email from Melanie was the best Christmas present I could have gotten. Because not only did I get to reconnect with Mel...but I also now can reconnect with my little sister Ella and my little brother Clinton and my step-sister Meta...that I owe lots of love and apologies...because while she was a total spoiled brat when I met her...she sure as heck didn't deserve me picking fights with her as my way of getting my frustration out from the Step Father. Meta and I warred at times...and it was generally my fault...generally...sometimes she was pretty evil all on her own...but most of the time...it was my feeling of powerlessness...and resenting that the Step Father never dared lay a hand on her...at least that I knew about.

Mel told me that my little brother Clinton has just finished his first semester of college...the last time I saw him he was about five or six and the last time I saw my sister Ella she was around the same age (she's a year younger than Clinton, Jr.). This is what I have been waiting for and praying for...for a long time...that as an adult I would have a chance to build relationships with my little brothers and sisters...relationships that were made impossible by distance and circumstances. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much though...they may not really remember much about me or my brother Jason.  But I sure as heck am going to try.

In addition to the mini-electronic family reunion...I had an awesome afternoon with Quiana and Matthias. They took me to lunch at a new Creole restaurant in town...and asked me to be the officiator type person at their wedding. They aren't having a wedding seeing as how they can't get legally married...damn this country...but they are going to have a great out door ceremony...and they asked that I be the person who stands up front and facilitates things getting done. I asked if I could give a good old fashioned Southern Baptist sermon...and they didn't say no ;-) Hehehe. But they did say that I could say some words and stuff....AWWWWWW YEAH! They don't know that I'm bringing a gospel choir, a jeri curl wig, and a complete stage play for their enjoyment. This could be my big break! Hehehehe.

So...today has been a good day. This trip home has been down right awesome. And tonight I'm going to see a drag show. A REAL LIVE DRAG SHOW! I swear...they must have outlawed Drag Queens in Albuquerque...because while trannies seem to walk freely down the streets...they seem to treat gay clubs and stages like vampires do a garlic farm.  And dammit...I WANNA SEE A SHOW! So...I'm going to wrap this up...dip myself in a warm bath...read some Chronicles of Narnia...finish up this fantastic soundtrack...and relax knowing that I am...without a doubt...loved. And that is a feeling that drugs, sex, or money just can't buy.

That's What Friends Are For...

The other night a group of friends banded together...to provided some muscle and backup to another friend in a time of sadness, craziness, and crisis. The particulars of that story aren't mine to tell...but what I can share is that the love and support that was handed out lovingly to a friend in need last night was the stuff of which real community is truly comprised. A friend was going through a tough time...and she was surrounded by perhaps the silliest, goofiest troop of nutbars between the North Pole and Amarillo (didn't want to go any farther south than that into Texas...cuz we all know that there are some REAL loonies down there). As we helped our pal gather some things and get them moved, I was really and truly moved by the love that I knew was there...but I had the privilege to see in action. Love in action is an awe inspiring event.

Everyone in the Wednesday Night Brigade was on time and full of jokes. From Nikki K's dubbing of Molly as the baby seal...to my sneak anal gas attack that knocked Molly to the ground...to the question of the night...I posited to Missy and Coya...if one had the stigmata...would one have heavy flow days? And if so...could one put tampons in ones wrists to soak up the flow? To which Missy replied...that if she saw me on the street...she'd wave her arms and say...Plug It Up JC, WHAT WHAT? This was followed by a very serious discussion about the ability of men to lactate...to which I pondered...out loud...if men could lactate...could we churn up the man tit milk into tit cheese? Missy insisted that we could sell Fried Tit Cheese on a Stick...and we could even have a Prince K of the Milky Way with his head carved out of tit cheese...at this years Great Minnesota Get Together (aka the State Fair aka Mullet Olympics). In the time it took us to drive from Minneapolis to St. Stupid (I despise St. Paul and curse it with mini-malls and boarded up buildings)...Missy and I invented a whole new organic naturally renewable clean food industry. We'll be ready for our Noble Prize come next spring. But I wonder...will we need USDA approval?

As you can see...I'm not the only one of my friends that is a little...umm...creative. But while we all may share the same anti-anxiety medication prescription...and we should probably check into a group discount on anti-psychotic meds...we will be there for one another through break-ups, breakdowns, or military invasions from Canada. Personally, I think the Canuks are plotting on us. Got me a little twitchy. But I'm ready for 'em with their beady little eyes and their "Celine Dion."  The best thing about having great friends is that they will let you  know when you are being crazy...they are quick to point out when someone else is the crazy one...and they will bend over backwards and eat some yellow snow if it'll make you smile...even if it is followed by a little vomit in the back of your throat.

YouthAction--The Perfect Gift....

Five years ago...in October 2000...I was invited to join the board of YouthAction. I'd actually applied to join YouthAction's board in late 1999, but I was turned down...in favor of my roommate....who joined the board...went to one board meeting...and never turned up again. But I'm totally over that.

For the last five years, I have grown with, learned from, and supported this amazing organization that provides technical assistance, organizational development, political education and training, and support to grass roots youth-led, youth-run progressive/radical/revolution organizations and projects in the United States Southeast and Southwest. I have served as the organizations Program Committee Chair, Finance Committee Chair, Board Co-Chair, and I currently am the Interim Executive Director. YouthAction works hand in hand with low-income youth, youth of color, and queer young people in the most underserved regions of the United States to assist those young people in changing their lives and their communities...YouthAction acts as a networking agent...bridging isolated youth communities and creating a broader connectedness in the youth movement in the U.S. YouthAction has been doing this work for almost 20 years...and...like most small progressive non-profit organizations...YouthAction is struggling hardcore at the moment.

For those of you that have never had the pleasure of interacting with the funding community...you will not be aware of how foundation funding works. In general...foundation giving is about 3-4 years behind the current state of the economy. So while the economy in the United States may have strengthened as compared to just a few years ago...foundation endowments are operating, right now, as if this were 2000-2001 and the NASDAQ bubble had just burst. This means funding for everyone is short...and it will be another 3-4 years of a half way decent economy...before funding will even begin to look as it did at the end of century. YouthAction, in the past, has relied almost solely on large grants from progressive foundations. Those grants have largely dried up. YouthAction can no longer rely on large foundation gifts to carry the day...we need the help of people...near and far...young and old...that believe in the power of young people to change their world in positive ways...to support YouthAction right now.  YouthAction is looking at a major budget shortfall for 2006. This will most likely mean a reduction in staff (from our current amazingly large staff of four)...and a reduction in our ability to serve young people...the demand for our services has increased exponentially...now is not the time to reduce services...but we will have to if we do not receive support from individuals that care about young people's futures.

I am asking each of you that reads this blog entry...whether you read it today or two months from now...to direct your web browser to www.youthaction.net, where you can give a donation...online...using your credit card or debit card...to YouthAction. We accept gifts of all sizes...whether it is $5 or $50,000...we'll take both and everything in between just as happily. You can also send checks or money orders made payable to YouthAction to YouthAction, PO Box 12372, Albuquerque, NM 87195. Please make a gift right now...today....our work is necessary...it is vital...and it is crucial. With our help...young people have stopped a youth prison from being built in North Carolina...have forced their schools to recognize Black History Month....have fought school re-segregration...have organized around protecting indigenous sacred sites...fought for and had included sexual orientation as a protected group in school non-discrimination policies...and so much more...again...go to www.youthaction.net to make a gift online or send a check to PO Box 127372, Albuquerque, NM 87195 made out to YouthAction...and help us continue to change this country for the better.

My First Straight Crush...

So I just returned to Chateau Sandie...after a great energizing evening at a Peter Hutchinson for Minnesota campaign event. It was really great to see the folks out to support Peter's candidacy...and it was fun to reconnect with some friends...Quiana and Matthias were there...Brie Chatters showed up...and Tirzah came along with the only black woman from Rhode Island...who...was HILARIOUS. If I still lived in MN...she would be one of my new best friends.  Peter's campaign staff were great...and I had the honor of introducing Peter to the crowd after listening to Quiana rock the mic with some of her bad ass poetry...and after I had the opportunity to share a piece as well. It Ain't Truth If It Doesn't Hurt also made an appearance at the fiesta when Dean ...my new straight crush...read a quotation from the December 10th entry. Dean is funny and sweet...seems to be a smart cookie...and...has a wonderful wife that was equally as sweet and kind. That totally sucks. If she had been an evil creature dripping ooze and slime...well...then I would have had no qualms about starting on a campaign to seduce Dean and turn him to the Gay Side...or at least the Bi Side (for all I know...he's already on the Bi Side)...but the point is...he has a fantastic wife...and since she is so fantastic...I have to draw the line at making out with Dean. But that's where I draw the line. Hehehehe.

After the party, Quiana took me, Brie, and Matthias (aka her fiance Alex) out to dinner at Cafe Brenda. Oh my BOURGOUISE GOD...I totally appreciate the dinner that Quiana paid for...but I would rather have my toe nails painted with liquid nitrogen and then broken off with a hammer than go back to that restaurant. The menu read like a French cafe menu that had fallen off the short bus. Who the hell wants crushed nutmeg pomegrante mango compote with a reduced boisenberry honey fruit paprika glaze on their free range organic no-fat no-hormone no-flavor chicken breast? Not me says I. I'm just not that kind of fag. I mean...I love a great meal...I love a great restaurant...but paying $20 for a chicken breast is outrageous...for all that give me a hormone studded...carcinogenic slab of beef with mad cow flavoring and some BBQ sauce...and I'm good to go. It'll taste better...and I bet I can get ten pounds for $12.99...soft drink of my choice included.

Anyway...all in all it has been a great evening. Karla Eckdahl...Peter's wife...was radiant as usual...Peter was on point...on message...and snazzily dressed...and I am more excited about his campaign than for any campaign that I've ever heard about...ever. Check out hutchinsonforminnesota.com. Peter is where it's at...and I'm with Peter. I'm going to use my free flight on NWA to fly home for Peter's official kick-off event on January 25th...his candidacy is that important to me. I encourage you all to check him out. Email him. Call him. Listen to him. And then...support him. It's time for change in MN.

I Love Minnesota...

You know...I'm sitting in a beautiful coffee shop in downtown Minneapolis...I just left the taping of a video where I had the privilege of talking about the fantastic contributions to Minneapolis civic life of Peter Hutchinson (former public school superintendent and current gubernatorial candidate)...and I am heading off to do a poetry reading at a fun music gig set up to kick off Peter's campaign. I have never lived anywhere where candidates for political office or currently elected officials are so dang accessible. Perhaps it's just the experiences that I've had growing up here...but where else do you bump into the Mayor walking down the street...actually get a city council member on the phone when you call City Hall...or have the chance to be in a promotional video for the next governor of Minnesota...well...Minnesota I guess.

When the plane landed last Saturday...I had some choice words for the Deity upstairs...considering it had been 50 when I got on the plane in Albquerquerque, and it was about -50 when I got off the plane in Minneapolis. But today, as I was walking from the train station to the fancy lofts where the taping was taking place (down by the banks of the Mississippi...next to the monstrous new Guthrie Theater...that place looks like it is really a mothership plotting to destroy the east bank of the city)...large soft fluffy snow flakes started falling...the kind of snow fall that most likely only takes place in Minnesota...the Upper Penninsula of Michigan...and Siberia. Fat heavy flakes that drift sleepily to the ground...layering crystalline blankets across eyelashes...and threatening to prematurely grey your hair...if only for the few moments that you wander outside...before ducking into a heated doorway...where the grey runs from your hair...and the end of your nose is warmed back to its natural color...instead of the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer stand in that it has been doing since you first stepped out of the house.

Minnesota winters are something spectacular...they are bitterly cold...horribly biting...yet...you have never lived until you've walked down the mall at the University of Minnesota...after sunset...when the bare limbs of tree braches are coated in a clear sheath of ice...and the street lamps are shining through the branches...refracting...scattering soft yellow light through the air...through those fat Minnesota snow flakes that always seem to know when to fall for the maximum effect. Like most things in Minneapolis...I believe the snowflakes are gay.

Good lord...I'd forgotten how many gay men are in this city. Chris and I went to the movies and lunch yesterday in downtown Minneapolis...it was like San Francisco projectile vomited and the gays landed right here in the upper Midwest. Walking through the skyway from Block E to Target was like running a cruising slalom. I should have gotten a gold medal for not getting body checked to the wall and given a public blow job by the queens from the Great Clips in the Target building. Goodness. Now...I love a little public sex as much as the next homo...but come on...if eye rape were a crime in Minnesota...I'd be a full time plaintiff. I like it though.

Well...it's time to brave the winter wind again...I have to make a mad dash about six blocks into the warehouse district and read this dang poem. The sun is going down...and at twilight...as the sun disappears...so does any semblance of warmth remaining in the Minnesota night air. I love Minnesota...but if I'm not back in New Mexico come the beginning of January...someone send a hot rescue team...and a blow dryer...to the corner of Washington and Hennepin...the cute statue of the brown boy in the stylish pea coat and orange gloves is actually me...please thaw me out. Thank you. Goodnight.