I'm An Uncle...Again!

Joyous news oh joyous news....after waiting for five plus years for Jerry and Erin Jones of Wilmington, North Carolina to figure out what the rest of us figured out when we were children (that is...how to make children)...they have finally made me, Mr. and Mrs. Eller, and Mr. and Mrs. Jones very happy. On January 13th...in what might have been the quickest labor ever (35 minutes)....little baby Elijah Jacob Jones was born...little ugly critter (check out his picture in my photo album)...and he looks just like Jerry...except extremely whiter...it's all very creepy they way genetics works out.

Let me tell you a little bit about the parents. I met Jerry Lee Jones, Jr. my first or second day at Warren Wilson College...we ended up meeting because I saw that he was reading the newest Robert Jordan book that had just come out in hardcover (I believe that was book four...Mr. Jordan is now on Book 12...and the damn series still isn't finished...please note...I met Jerry Jones almost 11 years ago). I flounced into his room, introduced myself, and laid claim to the book as soon as he was finished with it. So began a beautiful friendship. Jerry Jones...also called Black Man!...is from Bladenboro in Bladen County North Carolina...which is so far in the country that I have never been there and it is hard to find on the map. Jerry has several delightful siblings...all of whom I have met...and all of whom are as country as Jerry was when I first met him. I love them. His 18 year old sister Lisa came to visit us one summer on campus...and at the age of 18 I taught the girl how to play Go Fish and War...I'll repeat that...at the age of 18 this girl played Go Fish and War (yes the card games). And...Jerry and I took her to a Chinese Restaurant...which was the first Chinese eatery she had ever been too and also the first restaurant that she'd been to with cloth napkins. When I say Jerry's family is country. They are country. But I've never met a more kind-hearted, intelligent, funny, caring, spirited, and committed bunch of people in my life. To be a Jones is to be loved. Some of my fondest memories of my time at Warren Wilson were answering the phone when Jerry's mother would call. Times when I would lie to his Mother and tell her that Jerry had been having girls sleeping over, drinking, and carousing and what not.  And then I'd pass the phone to Jerry...and listen for the yelling to begin. Jerry Jones is my big brother in every way. I love him, and I miss him. I haven't seen him in a year...but now I guess it's off to North Carolina to see if I can do anything to help his homely child grow up to be prettier than his father. I'm praying for a miracle.

Then there's Erin Eller Jones. Now...I knew Erin much before Jerry did. Jerry actually didn't meet and start hanging out with Erin until after I left Warren Wilson College at the end of the summer after our Sophomore year. I met Erin my second or third week at Warren Wilson when I tried out for the college production of J.B. by Archibald Macleish.  Lord have mercy...I could not stand Erin Eller. First off...her Father was a Math Professor on campus...and she grew up on campus...so she thought she was the Princess of Jones Mountain and shit (Jones Mountain is one of the moutains the college owns...it's where the goats live). There were a few times when I wanted to pull a Chuck Norris and roundhouse kick  her in the face. I was basically of that mind frame when I left Warren Wilson. Imagine my utter and complete horror when I got a phone call from Jerry Jones telling me that he and Erin were engaged. V-O-M-I-T-A-R. I immediately called out mutual friend Leah...who confirmed that Jerry wasn't high when he called and that he actually was engaged to Erin Eller...and I went straightaway to church and lit a votive and asked the Blessed Virgin to send a lightning bolt to knock some sense into Jerry's head. Well...much to my delight...both Erin and I did a lot of growing up between the last time I saw her and campus and the next time I saw her when I went to visit Jerry Jones. By the time they were married a year and a half later...I was loving me some Erin...and I was looking forward to having her as a sister in law. Leah...on the other hand...was still protesting their engagement right up until the "I Do" part. I don't think she has any idea to this day how close she came to not being invited to that wedding.

I spent last Christmas with Jerry and Erin at Erin's parent's house. Sara and Tommy Eller are two of the most delightful creatures that the South has ever produced...as well as Sara Ann's sister Aunt Marjorie. Aunt Marjorie...with that coastal South Carolina drawl...could ask me to do anything...including die...and I'd figure out how to do it twice. I probably ate three rum cakes, two pans of pumpkin biscuits, and four apple pies just because she asked me if I wanted something to eat. I just can not tell Sara Ann or Auntie no. No sir. One of the best moments of last Christmas was when I was getting ready to leave and Sara Ann gave me a big hug and said..."You know the way back now don't you?"
Which was the sweetest way anyone has ever asked me to come back and visit again. I adore the Ellers. If you are ever in Black Mountain, North Carolina...stop by and say hello for me. Tell 'em Brandon sent you.  (I thought it was even more fun when I was introduced to some of Jerry's in-laws as Jerry's brother...from the North).

I'm very excited to add Elijah Jacob Jones to the list of my nieces and nephews (which also includes my eldest nephew the child genius Jason Leslie Strother, Jr. and the most beautiful and brilliant little girl to ever grace the earth...Shayla Denise Zoerink...they get all their gifts from me of course...including Elijah Jacob...).

I just can't wait to meet my newest little nephew. Someone has to teach the kid how to shop!