ADD or just Bored?

So a couple of weeks ago I went to my new psychiatrists office. This place was a trip. I couldn't tell which was older...my psychiatrist or the wood paneling in her office. And when she whipped out her Blackberry...I almost fainted. I though for sure at best she would have an Apple IIe or maybe a Commodore 64...but the old bird wasn't to be defined or limited by my stereotypes.

Right away we got down to the business of head shrinking. She asked me a number of questions dealing with my family structure, growing up, and my currently mental health concerns. The woman should have had a court reporter on staff as I'm sure she filled up about  18 pages of her legal size pad. As I told her about the plethora of issues that brought me to her...including a commandment from my hard as nails therapist...I could see the grandmother in the woman. I was sure that in just a moment she would rush out of the office and come back in with some freshly baked chocolate cookies and a glass of warm cider. Instead she just shook her head and basically offered me anything my heart desired from the pharmacy of my choice. 

I keep up with my various mental health diagnosis. They've stayed pretty stable (hehehe...I said stable) over the last year...especially after my week long stay in the nut house when I was finally diagnosed correctly for the first time. But I got to add a new one to the list this last week. Mild Attention Deficit Disorder. I'll be right back I saw something shiny...just kidding just kidding.  Now...I remember in high school not paying attention very much in class...because I thought class was boring and most of my classmates were stupid...and I'd already read that damn book in French so I was not about to listen to the lower life forms in my French 2 class march through it sounding like a bunch of hillbillies that just got hooked-on-phonics. (Sorry...a  little of my nerd bitterness came out there...high school was tough). But...some of that inability to pay attention also has existed in my work life...for example...I can't spend more than 30-45 minutes at a time doing anything before I have to get up and go and see what everyone else within a one block radius is doing. My psychiatrist wrote off my high school inattention as a sign of intelligence (why didn't I think of that?) but she said that my lack of focus at work is probably a sign of something much deeper.

I offered up that perhaps it was that after playing babysitter for months on end I was just fed up. She said that since I'd been having these issues since I was 15 that perhaps there was another answer. I don't know why. My answer was perfectly reasonable. So...off she sent me to another nut doctor who also did a little evaluation...the conclusion...mild ADD. The solution...put me on a stimulant. Like thousands of kids in America that just wouldn't sit still in class...I've been put on ritalin. Now...ritalin wasn't big when I was growing up. As a matter of fact, I didn't hear about it until college when about half the campus was snorting the stuff in order to stay up and cram for finals (not me...I always said if they would just put illegal drugs into pill bottles I would never have had a problem). But now...twice a day...I take these itsy bitsy little extended release pills. I don't quite know what...if anything they doing for me. The first couple days I took the damn things I shook like a crack whore in rehab...but what's new. Every pysch med I've ever taken has made my body act like I have a neurological disorder (thanks...don't have one those...yet). I have to try these things out until 2/15 when Dr. S and I are going to have another sit down and evaluate my reaction to the little buggers. That and we are going to decide on a sleeping medecine. I felt like a little kid at Christmas when she came into her office with a plastic bag and starting dumping samples of just about every kind of sleeping durg I've ever heard of into it. Trial and error and experimentation she said. The last time I tried that I tried and errorer and tried and tried and experimented and tried and tried and tried. And tried. tried.  Get the picture?

But so far so good. I can't tell if I am focusing any better...because with an office full of some of the most social people between the Rockies and the Mississippi its rare that I have more than 30 minutes uninterrupted to myself. But, although Dr. S may be older than Eve...she seems to know what she's doing. I think. So I'll trust her for now. But if you see me handing out little green pills to the kids at the University of New Mexico in May...call Dr. S. Quick.