Keep It Humble Day....

Lord God Jesus Buddha Krishna Shiva Aine Oshun! So...yesterday and this morning I was having fun with google...when I came across an on-line magazine for which I once upon a time wrote...from January 1996-July 1997 I had a regular column in the youth focused queerzine Oasis. Which can still be found online at www.oasismag.com. I'd basically forgotten about Oasis...and I was very excited to see that it is still going strong ten years after its inception. Go ahead ya'll.

As I was reading through some back issues of Oasis...I wondered how the heck I made it through the late 90s. I was dramatic. I mean...D-R-A-M-A-T-I-C. I know that comes as a shock to ya'll...but...really...I took dramatic writing to a whole other level...check it out: http://www.oasismag.com/backissues.html

I also came across a poem that I wrote sometime in 1995....hold on ya'll this one is a doozy:

Broken Tears

by

Brandon

Lacy

In silence they fall
tiny visions of prophecy
the essence of creation
carrying destiny like a light in their depths
they strike the earth
and shatter, like crystalline hope
sounding the music of creation
and silenced without thought

In heartbreak they are released
descended from Heaven
fallen angels of unutterable glory
carrying grace and sacredness in their wake
until they are greeted by the touch of fate
and sent forgotten
to oblivion, until the day of judgment

In birth they are joyous
twin streams of mirth and laughter
greeting mother and cleansing vanity
In death they are comforting
black River Styx
bringing sweet forgetfulness
soaked up with abandon
their subtle magic lost

Without voice they speak
without demand they listen
without hope they shield
without despair they guide
they are the human burden
broken tears.

These are definately the moments designed to truly keep one humble. When I read that poem I wondered when exactly in my life I had been a heart-broken sixteen year old girl dressed all in black with a veil over my face, fake tatoos, a noise ring, black nail polish, and purple eyeshadow sitting alone in my room writing fake suicide notes and listening to Depeche Mode. Because...basically...anyone reading that poem without a name attached would probably wonder who the poor little suburban girl was that didn't get the SUV she wanted for her sixteenth birthday and instead got a Geo Metro. When I read through some of the articles I'd written on Oasis Magizine...I was also frightened by how little some things had changed...I know that I know more about who I am and what I want from the world now at 28 then I did then at 18....but ooooooooooowwweeeeeeee.....I'm having the same man problems now that I was having ten years ago. Some things just never ever change.

Now that I have truly embarassed myself publicly. I am going to go and drown myself in the toilet bowl. Then I'm going to call my Mom and ask her why I didn't get that SUV back when I was 16.