I Almost Choked on Some Rice...

So Chile went and did themselves a favor and elected Michelle Bachelet, a socialist and a Pinochet torture victim, as president. Good for them.  I mean it. I hope the woman flips a bitch and nationalizes everything from copper mining to panty stitching.  Then sends a picture to Bush of her naked vagina and her left hand giving him the bird. Viva la revolucion!

But Condi almost killed me this morning.  Made me choke on my leftover Thai food. Condoleeza Rice...that woman...that poor poor woman...had the gumption...that's right I said G-U-M-P-T-I-O-N (from the scottish word gaumr...to heed)...to say that the United States has been a friend of Chile for the last 20 years...*blink* *blink*...put down the crack pipe Condi...how soon we forget that ummm it was the United States that used the good old CIA to topple/assassinate Salvador Allende and then supported Augusto Pinochet who opened the economy to U.S. interests and opened toture chambers for Chilean citizens.

I am totally amazed by that woman's ability to lie...all the time...everytime she opens her mouth. I mean does she even have a PhD? Did she ever teach at Stanford? Is she really Black? Is that gap in her teeth real? These are the things that I can no longer take as truth...because Condoleeza has never told the truth...not one time...except the time that she accidentally revealed that George Bush is her husband. I just can't believe Laura was actually stupid enough to marry the man. She's smart. Either that or I think somebody dipped the real Laura Bush in dye, changed her name to Condoleeza Rice, made up some fake academic credentials for her and then proceeded to give her control over the most powerful of the federal secretariats. The Laura Bush that we've all seen on TV is actually Monica Lewinsky's mother.

And speaking of rice...never has a more noble food been more maligned. Even if I didn't love it so much, I'd swear it off until 2008 when Hillary takes office, and Bill becomes the first First Husband and the official jazz saxophonist of the West Wing. Basically, it comes down to this. I am so damn tired of this administration and its lackluster, backboneless chronies interrupting my favorite syndicated television shows to tell me more lies that I'm never going to believe.  The entire administration acts as if the entire country is made up of idiots, morons, and the illiterate. Some of us read. Some of us pay attention. Some of us went to college, and some of us remember some of the history lectures that we sat through. Come on Condi...if you are going to lie...lie about something credible...tell us that you did not have sex with this President...tell us what the definition of is...is.  But don't tell us that this country has been a friend to Chile for the past twenty years...we might have been a friend to Chilean industry...but contrary to what the Republicans believe...a nation and its government are not defined by its corporations but by its peoples. But don't take my word for it...let me pull out a few qoutations for you from something else I learned about it history class...3rd grade history class:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness--that to pursue these rights governments are instituted among men, and derive their just powers from the consent of the governed. (Declaration of Indepedence, 1776)

I don't see anything in there about Multi-National Corporations are endowed with inalienable rights and that governments are instituted to provide corporate welfare, illegal invasions on demand, lax labor laws and environmental standards, and assassinations of democratically elected leaders.  Not convinced...try this one out:

...and that the goverment of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth. (Abraham Lincoln at Gettysburg,  11.19.1963)

Once again...nothing in their about the goverment being about corporations or corporate interests...it seems as if our founding folks had this pesky idea that government was to be instituted by the consent, will, and for the protection of the people. Crazy that idea.

So...Condi...know that I love you when I say...shut the hell up...bleach off that paint you dipped yourself in...take off the wig...load up twins and your husband...and go on back to Crawford, TX...where you can continue your nefarious plots to take over the world. Just know...we're on to you. Us meddling kids...and our dog too.