I Am Such a Prude!

Stop laughing. It's so true. I am such a prude. Today I was reading my dear friend Susan's Blog where she has been writing some truly touching and amazing observations of the way her daughter, Luca, has been growing, changing, and expressing herself during their time in Brazil. Today, Susan wrote about Luca's body movements and some the comments she's made about the way other people move their bodies. Then Susan went on to mention that Luca likes to dance naked in the mirror and that her movements always center around her "mouth of life." I almost passed out.

I like to think that thanks to people such as Susan and Rocki I have really done some growing around sexuality and sexual expression. Most of the time I like to believe that really...I've gotten past the puritanical nature of American society that says sex and sexuality are bad bad bad and should not ever be talked about...and that the children are inherently a-sexual beings and should never be referred to in a sexualized way (please note...I am not talking about pedophelia here but am referring to the fact that children do in fact engage with their sexuality and begin self-exploration well before we'd like to believe they do). Well, the truth of the matter is that I about choked on my little Debbie snack cake when I read Susan's post. And it was not about her observations. I am very clear on that. It was totally about my discomfort in even acknowledging that children have genitalia let alone have any awareness of it in any sort of way.

Lord what rock have I been living under.

Maybe its because I don't have children of my own that I have not had to think about this. But I know right now that if, for example, I were babysitting little Luca and she were freely dancing before the mirror in all her birthday suit glory...I would be the first one to run gibbering for a robe or a blanket or a body suite with a lock on it to cover her up. All the time knowing that her nakedness i sn't wrong...that her comfortability with her own body should be nurtured and celebrated...and that her honest expressions of how she sees others move their bodies should be encouraged. But, I am so uncomfortable with my own nakedness, with my body, and with all the messages that have been transmitted to me by all levels of society through the socialization that I would be hard pressed to really challenge myself to sit there with my discomfort and let Eden be Eden.

I hope that by the time I have children, I will have been able to arrive a bit closer to the place where Susan lives as opposed to the the comfortable little patch of Puritanism where I seem to be making my home right now.  Maybe I'll just let Susan raise my child until he or she is about eight or nine...by that time good old socialization should have kicked in and they will voluntarily run for cover should they happen to be naked and hear footsteps approaching.  Or maybe I'll just get a dog. Yeah. A nice chocolate lab. I'll get Jason to knit her a coat.

Comments

[Jerry]

:p

so, i really dig reading your blog.

just to sort of dive right in there...

is being a puritan really all that bad? what i mean to say is that (within limits -- preferably established by law) does it matter how you choose to express your sexuality so long as you do it for reasons that are your own? if, through the exercise of your heart and reason, you come to the conclusion that the best choice for you is to be a prude then by all means, be a prude.

the idea that the presence of comfort with one's own sexuality or nakedness is indicative of a healthy attitude with respect to sex is ridiculous. it's beyond ridiculous. i mean...aside from the obvious, the argument that comfort equals nudity (or whatever) makes the implicit argument that all human beings would make the same choices when it comes to expression. and, that's silly, isn't it?

i don't know...i'm just exploring the question, i suppose.

i read susan's blog entry, and i thought it was delightful. (i thought it would be weird to post on her site 'cause she doesn't know me) the sense of freedom and unpretension (is that a word--i know that comfortability is NOT, mr. writer) that her daughter seemed to enjoy was wondrous to read about. i think that it is the process of getting back to Eden and freedom that we should focus on rather than what Eden looks like. because it should look different for everyone - otherwise, i don't want to hang out there.

i mean...ultimately, isn't that what freedom is all about?