It Ain't Truth If It Doesn't Hurt

This One is For Coya...

Coya--I love you.

Choke

It takes her again

wraps stiff fingers around her throat

chokes her until the tears run

burning channels into her cheeks

reopening half healed runnels

coffin-nails have left on her face

she calls me gasping

why

too much

too many

why her

why him

why them

bang bang

they found him in a lake

they found her in a ditch

he was murdered

she was murdered

why

why

why

the violence overshadowed by

the mist that leadens her voice

sodden from her throat

she exhales between her questions

I don't have the answers she needs

the ones she deserves

can't loosen the grip of too much time

cut short

wrapping around her throat

can't breathe enough for her

can feel the damp

as it pours out of my phone

fills my mouth

runs out of my eyes

mother-brother-aunt-cousin

two killed

unsolved crimes

two taken too early

all died

this year and last year

too few years between them

too little time for healing

while prayers and prairie dirt fills the holes

they left behind

We've sat up nights talking

trying to make sense

of senselessness

of grief

of acceptance with no understanding

while the reaper keeps reaping

scything

through native lives

her life

cutting

cold voice laughing

hollow

like lines dug in her face

hollow

echoing

empty

open wounds festering

fearing that she might use alcohol to sterilize

knowing its ability to cauterize

too far away

too far away

to fly to her

pry death away

breathe for her when she can't

pray for her when she can't

promise her what I can't

that it is over

that it won't continue

when I can still her the laughing

and the scything of the reaper.

-Brandon Lacy Campos

-Minneapolis, MN

-September 4, 2006

Democracy Will Wear You Out!

Since May 29th when I rolled back into Minnesota, I have basically lived at the Team Minnesota headquarters. I have eaten more meals from Cupcake downtstairs from our office than I have in my own kitchen at home. Coya's cat, which I am cat sitting, has picked up the slightly disturbing habit of petting herself due to extended periods without any other contact with living organisms, and I ran into several friends while manning our candidate's booth at the MN State Fair (HATE THE FAIR---look forward to a blog all about how the Great Minnesota Get Together is a rock solid argument for euthanasia and herd culling) who expressed surprise at seeing me back in Minnesota, and then cussed me out when I nonchalantly told them that I had been back in town for nigh on four months. Ain't democracy grand?

I am working on Peter Hutchinson's campaign for governor...about two weeks into my job it was revealed that our staff would actually be running the campaigns for three additional candidates...for a total of five: Governor/Lt. Governor, Secretary of State, State Auditor, and Attorney General. I should have run at that point...I hadn't sworn any binding oaths or signed anything in blood...so there was no danger of breach of contract resulting in the loss of my everlasting soul. But now, after more than one 16 hour day...I have pegged my eternal salvation to this campaign. Good Lord in Heaven forfend.

Don't get me wrong...it's really easy to come to work. My co-workers are awesome. I've never worked with a group of more dedicated individuals. Folks here are brilliant, hilarious, and fun. We get on each others' nerves but we also take care of each other. I was in the car with Emily the other night on our way home from the thrice cursed state fair, and I said, "What are we going to do when the campaign ends, and we don't see each other every day?" We both got teary eyed and changed the subject. I feel as if the campaign can be compared to all six of my years in college...except compressed into four months of complete and total insanity.

There are few things that I can say with any surety that I will never do again. One of those things is work on a campaign at this level. I love my co-workers, I think Peter and Maureen and Lucy and Joel and John are the best thing that could possibly happen to Minnesota next to free liposuction for all registered voters, but I haven't written a blog in months, my cat has slipped into a pyschotic mind loop, and I was ambused by the dust bunnies underneath my entertainment center as I came into the house last night. I think everyone should work on one campaign in their lives...seeing the democratic process with all of its crazy arts and crafts days, state fairs during thunder storms, and mind numbing trips to the suburbs...is an experience that will teach you to love your 9 to 5 desk job in your grey cubicle in the basement of the Wells Fargo Tower. I look forward to November 7th when Team Minnesota is voted into power...but November 8th is going to be so much better...because I am going to sleep...and dream about what to do without the Team MN Field Staff and get my dosage upped when I flip out from anxiety over what to do with my weekends...when I have them again.