It Ain't Truth If It Doesn't Hurt

Church Fires and Fear...

I started to log into my blog to write about...well...my procrastination with my creative writing...when a headline caught my eye (sigh...yahoo). It seems that last night two black Baptist churches were burned in Greensboro, NC. 

To those of us that dwell here in the North and either do not remember or have never known much about the history of the African American liberation movement...the Black church has been and continues to be the center of the African American community. In particular the black Southern Baptist church (a distinct entity from its crazy ass white Southern Baptist counterpart)...and the AME (African Methodist Episcopalian) church were key players in the abolition movement, the underground railroad, and in creating and fostering an African-American culture outside of slavery and to replace the culture that was systematically destroyed by the U.S. version of race-based slavery (in other nations with a race-based slave holding history...slaves enjoyed much more autonomy in language preservation, religious preservation, and in music...drums were banned to U.S. slaves!!!!).  I share that history to drive home the point that these church burnings and the church burnings that spring up periodically (particularly in North and South Carolina) are continued racist attacks on black folks in the United States.

What really tickles me (in that...tickle me one more time and I'll rip your face off sort of way)...is that the KKK/Aryan Nation/Knights of the South idiots that tend to pull this crap proclaim to be God fearing Christians...generally they too are Southern Baptists...is everyone seeing the irony here? If not...email me...I'll walk you through it.

Literally, for Christ's sake people...it is past time that you take a serious look at what it means to be a Christian. Read the four gospels again...PLEASE...that's Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Those are the ones that count...everything else is context and history. And it was in those gospels that Jesus said..."Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." I don't think he intended that if you had sin that you should cast molotov cocktails instead.

When the Son returns in his glory...there are going to be some folks that are very surprised to find that when he calls the Redeemed to salvation that are just standing around wondering why their cells aren't ringing. I promise...it's not going to be because you are outside of His service area. You just aren't going to be in His network.

Anyway...tomorrow I'll write about the writing I should be doing and am not doing and why I think I'm not doing it.  Of course, at this point, I could just start doing it instead of procrastinating more by writing about not doing it in this here blog. I think my brain just went on digital roam and this has now become a dropped call.

Rest in Peace Nelly...

I just received the bad news that a person that I went through treatment with has died. Cirrhosis of the liver around Thanksgiving. Nelly was a Yale Phd in neuroscience that came to Minnesota for alcoholism treatment. I remember the night that I met Nelly. I was probably in my second or third week of treatment. I was telling a story to another of the "inmates" about a book I'd red that talked about the socio-political and scientific history of potatos, apples, marijuana, and tulips. I was sharing that I was pretty damn astounded that the genetic variety present in a single appleseed is so diverse that it is impossible to grow a particular type of apple from a seed. If you plant a Granny Smith the apple that grows will most likely in no way resemble a Granny Smith. I also found out there are huge apple tree forests in Kazakhstan.  Anyway. I was sharing this interesting but useless information with someone else, and Nelly commented that he was impressed at the way I was able to translate the information clearly and succinctly...he was an professor at a medical college in Chi-town...so I took that as a compliment.

When I met Nelly he was still called Mike. He was a large man of the bear variety with a super gay hair do. Generally he was fairly academic with a decent sense of humor...although super touchy at times. One day, during a group session, he did something uber gay...someone in the group called him Nelly...and it stuck. From that day until the day he died...anyone that knew him from his time at Pride called him Nelly.

Nelly and I had our ups and downs. I remember one particular flare up when I let him have it. We were like to tom cats spraying piss on each other for days. But, in the end, we worked it out. He was a good man. And hilarious...truly hilarious. He showed up to someone or another's graduation with a faux black veil. When it came to be his turn to acknowledge the person graduating...he pulled out the veil and began to wail. He was instantly transformed into a grieving Sicilian widow.  I almost had a Depends moment I was laughing so hard. That's real comedy...the kind that almost moves the crowd to incontinence.

Nelly was a good man. God always takes everyone in his own time...but in our time it was much much much too soon. He was strong. He'd kicked a meth habit three years before he entered treatment for alcoholism. He was brilliant by all accounts. They just don't hand out doctorates from Yale in neuroscience at fruit stands at the farmer's market. He could be a bitch...but he was always loyal...always caring...and always good for a good laugh.

I Adore Susan Raffo!

Ten years ago, as a fresh faced transfer at the University of Minnesota...I attended a workshop facilitated by Susan Raffo and Jemal Aguilar. I had no idea that over the next ten years Susan would be my friend, mentor, supervisor, guidepost, and someone I can always rely upon for a compliment and some raw unadaltered love and care.

Susan is brilliant. She's one of the smartest people that I have ever met. She has a wonderful way of looking at the world with a keen eye, a sense of wonder, and unfettered hope...and then sharing her insights with those around her. She is an amazing writer...and is so centered in who she is. She really and genuinely cares about the worlds of her friends...and she is one of the best listeners ever. She has taught me so much about love, justice, self-care, friendship, and community.

I could gush and gush and gush about Susan pretty much non-stop. But I'll wrap this up by saying...I love you Susan Raffo!

GLBT Host Home Back In the Hood...

SEEKING COMMUNITY

According to the National Runaway Switchboard, 42% of homeless youth are GLBT

One of the ways that the Twin Cities' community is addressing this problem is through the GBLT Host Home Program of Avenues for Homeless Youth, which offers an exciting approach to providing homeless gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender youth with safe homes.  As volunteers of the program, adults open their homes and their hearts to young people who need and are looking for a healthy and nurturing connection.  If you are interested in hearing more about this community-based program, please come to one of the following informational meetings:

Tuesday, January 16, 6-8pm

@ YouthLink, 41 North 12th Street, Mpls, 55403

www.youthlinkmn.org

OR

Thursday, January 18, 6-8pm

@ Midtown YWCA, 2121 East Lake Street, Mpls, 55407

www.ywcampls.org

OR

Saturday, January 20, 10am-noon

@ Avenues for Homeless Youth, 1708 Oak Park Avenue North, Mpls, 55411

www.avenuesforyouth.org

Come learn about the history of the GLBT Host Home Program and about the application and screening process for potential volunteers.  You will also have an opportunity to hear from hosts who shared their homes with youth.

Questions?  Call Raquel at 522-1690, ext. 110.

What About Beauty???

This morning, I am sitting at home...working on a couple of projects...cleaning the kitchen...and listening to the DreamGirls soundtrack (thanks Kandi!). I was again struck  by the power and beauty of the voices of the actors. I looked around apartment and was struck by the clean lines and irregular charm of this once warehouse space in the second largest Sears building in America. Outside of my window a few brave snowflakes flew past...obviously not having gotten the memo that thanks to global warming and our dear friend El Nino...Minnesota is now a sub-tropical state and soon to be beach front property. All of this struck me as beautiful.

Then I logged onto my business email account (thanks yahoo), and immediately I noticed that three of the six news headlines that serve as the front page to my email concern war, deaths, and bombing...one headline was concerning a "wildfire" in Malibu that claimed three mansions (ummm...was at a "wildfire" or the "wrath of God?")...another topic dealt with 9/11...yet another with the Democrats and their pending showdown with Bush over Iraq...and the final headline was focused on that great metropolis of Bangor, ME...which has apparently banned smoking in cars (I'm moving to Maine). I went from finding beauty in an old concrete warehouse wall to becoming instantly numb with news of the ridiculous violence taking place in the world.

I mentioned before that I am a news junkie. I always have been. Plus, I had a fantastic professor at Warren Wilson College, Phil Otterness, who made all of his students get subscriptions to the NY Times and pounded into us the necessity of being engaged with what's going on not only in our own backyards but in the backyards of our dear friends all around the globe. But, some days I think about a trip to the headquarters of the AP Newsire, Reuters, CNN, Fox News, the LA Times, NY Times, and Washington Post and setting off some kind of device that labotimizes anyone that writes more than two articles a week concerning death, dismemberment, war, plague, famine, natural disaster, wholesale destruction, or the newest burqa sported by Jacko. Really people...we need to know about the ugly in the world...(maybe not about MJJ and his penchant for female Muslim garments, praise be to Allah)...but we also have to be reminded...just as frequently...if not more so...of the capacity for humans to love and create beauty.

We have such an amazing capacity to bring beauty and love into this world. And we do...every day...all the time. But to watch the news...you'd think that every person on the planet is dodging bullets for at least 16 hours a day...and for the other 8 hours alternatively works in a sweatshop and/or prays to the fundamentalist version of the deity of your choice. I get it...the world is FUCKED UP. I get it...we have a responsibility not to repeat the mistakes of our past...or the past five minutes. But, dammit....I need a little hope spread on top of the tragedy...just a dollop of "I Can't Believe It's Not Genocide" would go a long way in this world of ours.

Really...I feel as if I need to go hide out in a museum for three days and lick old Greek statues to get the taste of utter despair off my tongue. But, I think I'd probably get arrested if I were caught rimming The David. Anyway...my wish for today...is that the media, at least, would acknowledge that even though the world is going to  hell in a handbasket...the handbasket we are in is a work of art, beautifully hand crafted, and something to be admired and celebrated.

I've Got Some Work To Do...

When I say I've got some work to do...it's a double entendre. Wait for it.

On the more literal side, I signed a new client today...which brings my total to four. I've got enough work now that I can probably only handle one more client, which is fantastic. I came to the realization today that even though I only have 21 hours of work a week from the various contracts...I have to factor in meeting time with those clients, stewardship, and actually dealing with the business side of my business. I made the decision to go into business for myself so that I would have time to focus on my writing. And, if I take on too many more clients, I will be defeating that whole purpose. Not that I am really complaining...with the four clients I have...I will be making more money per month than I have ever made...although...I have to set aside money for taxes...stupid taxes. Next month I can pay off the money I had to borrow during my financial crisis in December, and I can pay off my first student loan. Yeah. I paid rent this month, and I have food in the refrigerator. Things are really going well...and that's where I have always gotten into trouble.

I was cooking dinner tonight...a delicious stir fry...when I was hit by a crazy mad desire to use. My old pattern was when I was feeling good...I wanted to feel REALLY good. And then I ended up feeling really bad, got depressed, beat myself up a lot, and then started the entire cycle over again. Tonight, I did exactly what I was taught to do...I reached out...called some folks...and its now all good in the hood. Amazing that you arrive at a different outcome when you engage in different behavior...who'd a thunk it?

I've still got a lot of work to do. But today was a good first step. Again.